paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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