She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
