I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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