Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
