I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
