i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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