Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
