so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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