Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
