It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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