Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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