I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
where am i from again
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
