I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
