all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
