just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
