This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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