it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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