also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
