i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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