you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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