and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
