yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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