I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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