I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
