Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
