that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
