so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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