am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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