We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I see more hoeing in ur future
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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