All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
