Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
