somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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