Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
