The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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