no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
