You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
