Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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