before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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