He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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