Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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