They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
