NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
