What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
