Cold hands, warm shart.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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