found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
