we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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