We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
