He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
