He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So many bounce houses so little time
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
