My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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