My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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